On Growing Up

We will all grow up at some stage.

Whether we are Sons, Daughters, Sisters, Brothers, Lovers, Friends ... we will reach a phase in our lives where difficult decisions will have to be made. The complexity of the decisions will ultimately be based on the costs of choosing one over the other - how much do we have to give up or lose?

Some decisions can be simpler, for example, do I want to marry William?

What do I have to lose? The possibility of being with another man? This is not a consideration for me, as I do not believe there is another man I would rather be with apart from Will. The fact that I will have to move out from my parents' home? This is a heftier consideration since I am very close to my family, but since our new home is only minutes away from my parents' home, this will not cost much either. I might have to do more housework and cook occassionally, but I can put up with this. What do I have to gain? A life-time guarantee to start a family with a man whom I love and loves me as much in return. Someone who will take a vow to be by my side through the good and bad times, and someone whose words I can completely trust. Relatively simple and un-complex decision.

However to give another example, what if Will was someone I met while I was travelling overseas? What if the man who asked me to marry him was not from the same continent and for me to say yes, it would be at the cost of moving overseas away from all those I love and all that I have known? And what if, this place overseas might not recognise my qualifications and I would not have the same career certainty that I would have if I am back home? Saying yes would be much more difficult then. Much more courageous. As it is at the expense of losing a lot, a lot more.

Life and fate sometimes places us in difficult situations. I love my family. Sometimes I wish we can all be young again, where we are living, growing up, playing and joking in the same household and where difficult decisions do not have to be made. I sometimes secretly (and selfishly) wish that we can all grow old together, within close proximity of each other, even after we have found the other halves of our lives. I know that this is wishful thinking and probably far from reality.

Someone close to me would have to make a difficult decision. Whilst I know that there will not be a right or wrong decision, I hope that the decision will be one that makes her happy.

On Being Engaged

I have now been 2 weeks and 2 days ... engaged.

After 27 years of being a "single" woman, and 4 years of going out with Will, I am now engaged. Wow. The term still sounds a little foreign to me. And I still need to get familiar with referring to Will as my fiance.

I used to think that being engaged will not change anything, only the marriage will. Being engaged is just a means of letting others know that I will be getting married soon. I mean, Will and I have been going for years. We see each other every couple of days, bought a place together, I sleep over on the weekends and we have agreed that that I will not move in until we're married. I have met his parents, he has met mine, and our parents have even met each other. How would , or could, being engaged add anymore to that?

However, strange as it sounds, it does. In ways that I cannot express in words. Our relationship has strengthened, activities together seem sweeter and we are making more time for each other. Hey, I am even nagging less! I think it may be because there is now the invisible string that binds us together - and we both firmly understand our commitment to each other (although it's not really invisible, it's made visible through the beautiful sparkle on my finger, which makes me rather touched every time I look at it). Whatever it is, being engaged has successfully raised our relationship to a new level and I am quietly pleased about it.

My Preciousss...

As quoted by Gollum / Smeagol from the Lord of the Rings

Wigs or no Wigs

Have lost some weight. I think it's due to the busy schedule, an untimed combination of Chinese New Year, the engagement, family members visiting, operating Style Reverie and a new project starting up. On weekdays I'm running from a client meeting to another and updating websites, and on weekends, I'm running from shops to airports to Bridal Fairs. Funny how you unsuspectingly lose weight when you're not trying, but always fail to do so when you desperately try to.

Saw in the papers yesterday a picture of the WA lawyers and judges donning their wigs for the last time. A decision was made end of last year to abandon the centuries-old tradition. Due to curiosity I did a bit of research after I read the news on why in the first place lawyers wore wigs. Interestingly, I couldn't find a single consistent answer as to the reason (not online anyway). Answers range from the portrayal of impartiality, to self-protection; to it's just the way they dressed in the 1600 and they never got around to updating it. I guess the decision to abandon is probably sensible then. If it is unclear to the people wearing it why they are wearing it in the first place, then the reason for wearing it cannot be that important - no?

Nevertheless the decision would have been less painful if Will and I hadn't spent hours (and hundreds of dollars) in Sydney a couple of years back to hunt down the perfect wig.