A Woman's Reverie

On Married Life

2011-12-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

I have been asked 2 questions a lot lately... 1) How is married life? and 2) When are the babies coming?

Now on married life...

6 months into the nuptial arrangement (I know, SIX months already!!) I would say... we're doing ok. In fact I think we're doing better than ok.

We were told to expect the first-living-together-arguments, and though there were a few bickerings, there was nothing serious. I think the 6 years of going out prior to marriage helped spread them out a little (and the to-do white board helps too).

More time is now spent on house chores (time which I would rather spend shopping), but they have quickly become just part of the routine. I think we divide the tasks between us well, and I get to do the laundry and cooking which suits me better than the vacuuming and mopping.

The most significant adjustment for me was not so much living together with the husband, but it's more about NOT living together with the family. I spent a lot of my life coming home to a noisy and lively household and having meals around a table full of people. Now I come home to a house with me and the husband. Although initially difficult, like everything else, we quickly fall into a routine where we would visit the family a couple of days throughout the week and that made it ok. I now look forward to Saturday mornings where I go grocery shopping with Mom (and sometimes if there's time, some other type of shopping too).

And now, slowly, I have started to enjoy coming home in the evening to a quiet house. Where I can lash out my creativity in the kitchen while the husband exercises in his "gym". And then we both sit down to dinner and he compliments me on the food and I ask him about his day. We will then watch some criminal shows on TV (or his collection of Futurama DVDs) and if it's a good day I would get a bit of rub on the back. And when we get tired we go to sleep.

And I love it. I love the simplicity of it all.

2011-01-21T17:56:00.000-08:00

Hot.

I am not using the word in an aesthetic sense. I mean, mercury rising hot. Sitting in a room with no wind hot. I want to sit in an air-conditioned room hot. I want to be back in winter Korea hot.

Well maybe not the latter. But definitely the former.

It was only a week ago this time that I was screaming "Cold!" in the midst of the -20 degree Korean winter, whilst scurrying around a Korean street looking for a warm Korean haven to sneak into. That seemed like a distant memory now. Which kind of vaporised once we stepped upon the soil of 37-degree Western Australia.

I miss that. It was the first trip that we have taken as a family in years. We used to travel together a lot when we were kids, and I have really fond memories of those times. But with jobs, university, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiances... we just have not had the luxury to plan family trips in a while. So when my parents and brother decided to go on a Korean tour and my sister happened to be visiting at the same time, I bought myself a ticket and looked forward to it all happening.

And I had so much fun. I saw parts of the country which I did not have the opportunity to see the last time, skiied for the first time, caught snow falling on my tongue, watched as snow pour from the sky and cover the landscape in shimmering white powder, slurped hot steaming odeng tang in cold freezing weather, ate cold freezing Haagen-daz in cold freezing weather, feast on samgyetang to my heart's content, ate slimy, slithering octopus, bought my first BB cream (and many other make-up products), attempted at making (and succeeded in eating) kimchee, shared numerous lame jokes and laughed at countless English signs (for example the Bakery / Deli sign that read as Bakery / Delhi).

But it was not without its challenges. For one, the weather was at times so cold that we could not stay outdoor for more than a stretch of 15 minutes which made it very inconvenient to do anything or get anywhere. And secondly, even after the second trip, I still cannot get used to all the pushing and shoving that we experienced in Seoul, with no courtesy words of "excuse me" or "sorry".

But the worst challenge was, I found (and this has nothing to do with the destination itself but which will sadly change the way we travel forever) is the fact that we are all grown up to be mature adults with our own ways of thinking, and therefore could not agree on a single thing even if our lives depended on it! Simple questions like "What would you like to do today?" or "What about this restaurant here?" were usually returned with not so simple responses which could ultimately result in us walking for an hour in the cold looking for a place which we were not sure exist.

The strange thing is, I should have seen it coming given that we have all changed so much in the last few years with each building our own lives. But no, in my simple mind, I thought it would all be like before when we were kids, and our parents would take us places, and we would follow and everything would work out fine. It was only the after the first couple of blunders (which left me feeling confused and frustrated) that I realised we were no longer the sweet and innocent adoslescents we used to be and are each on our now fiercely independent and stubborn adults.

Ahh the joy of growing up.

Don't get me wrong. I still enjoyed the trip and would not hesitate for 2 seconds to say yes to another family trip. However as we are now better equipped with the knowledge that we cannot agree on anything we can devise some foolproof family-trip strategy to mitigate against that. We can go on tours where we will be told what to do and where to go, or we can pick a destination which once we are there, do not require a great deal of decision-making e.g. some isolated island where the only thing you would have to decide is whether to have barbeque or raw fish for lunch.

On Getting in Shape

2010-12-31T19:17:00.000-08:00

So it does work...

Look at Helen Mirren. An amazing actress, a beauty and at 65, a body that passes off as nothing short of amazing and fit for someone half her age.

How does she do it? Apparently through... *drum roll*... working out on the Wii fit! I kid you not. I have pictures as proof (courtesy of styleit.com). And of course, the other proof is her starring in an ad campaign for Wii (being the marketing genius they are).

Ever since we decided on the wedding date I have been constantly trying new ways to get fit, and to me, getting fit has always been equated to pain. No pain, no gain. That means, less cake, healthier meals, more treadmill, more swimming (although the cake part does not always work according to plan). Therefore, when my sister recommended Wii fit as a way of getting fit, I did not take her seriously. Hey, something that fun can't actually be good for you, can it?

But apparently it does. So thanks Helen Mirren, this is great news for me! A bit of hula hoop, steps and computer-led yoga each day can actually make me fit? If it means I get to stay indoors and exercise while it's 40 degrees out there, I will definitely give it a shot.

And maybe I won't feel so bad having some cake after too.

2010-08-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

I just watched 2012 (yes I know, I'm very outdated).

I enjoyed the movie. The extremely predictable and somewhat exaggerated plot was definitely not the factor, neither were the overly computerised effects. John Cusack contributed of course, but mainly it was because these end-of-world movies always make me think and wonder. A lot. During and long after the movie.

(Which is fortunate for me that they only make one of these once every couple of years otherwise I'd be a very depressed person.)

This time I think about the values of humanity. In 2012, as with all other Hollywood blockbusters of the same genre, the good values of humanity prevail. 10 minutes before the tidal waves hit the arks, they opened the gates to let the other people in (as opposed to just leaving and making sure they themselves were safe). They decided that they did not want to start the new world with cruelty and that the humanity really only ends the day they stand by and watch others die.

Do you really believe this would be true? If we were told today that the end of the world was tomorrow, do you believe that we would have peace and love before the end comes, or would we have chaos and wars? Do you believe that your neighbours would support you, or do you think that they would steal, rob, murder and rape? We have seen examples where goodness does prevail (think the China earthquake a couple of years back where strangers were risking their own health and lives to save others). But we have also seen examples where calamities occur, donations were given but they never reached the victims.

I would like to believe that in the end, that we would all learn to see past the materials and superficialities in life and just focus on what really counts. That we would realise that all we want is really to stay by the people we love and care of and give them the comfort which we hope to get in return.

The lucky hero in 2012 gets to share the new beginning with his children and his "true love" (the ex wife whose new spouse coincidentally died while trying to get onto the ark).

Tonight, have a think about who you'd like to spend tomorrow with if you know that it's going to be your last. And perhaps start that journey now.

On Self Development

2010-07-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

I have been lazy to write, but that does not mean I have been lacking in thoughts about what I want to write about. I store the thoughts in my mind and bring them out when I get the time and the mood to sit down, switch off the TV and type (of course the break in the World Cup in between the Round of 16 and the quarter finals made the switching off of the TV much easier).

Will's car was broken into a few weeks ago (if this sounds like deja vu, Will was mugged a few months' ago - so this has been an unfortunate year for my fiance). The passenger window was smashed, glove box was rummaged through and an empty knapsack was stolen. Although financially he got off ok (he could have suffered much worse material losses), break-in's are always a nuisance because of the things you need to fix and the insurance you need to worry about whether to claim or not to claim.

This happened early in the morning when we were still half-asleep from the night before, which was the time of the day when one tends to be grumpiest. And Will is one of the most easily agitated person I know. So I was very surprised, and impressed, when Will reacted with a "HOI what are you doing?" to the boy who was fishing about in his car (who then quickly scampered away) and then with still calmness as he decided what he needed to do to mitigate the severity of the situation given he had to show up at work in a couple of hours.

There are people who are generally calm, but react negatively to pressure, and there are also people who, on the other hand, are generally high-strung but react calmly when required. I believe there is a lot of strength in the ability to deal with bad situations calmly. It is not easy, and real personalities emerge when put under the test. Isn't it much easier, when someone does or says something that irritates you or offend your core belief, to just let your head get dizzy with anger and let them have a piece of your mind, than to be rational and calm and ignore their ignorant comments with the knowledge that a bad reaction may lead to worse outcomes?

Many arguments, fights and wars break out as a result of different parties not being able to see eye to eye, with little tolerance for differences. Much violence and regrettable incidents could have been avoided with either or all parties remaining calm. You know you cannot prevent unfavourable events from happening to you or your family, but the least you can do is to ensure your mind bears the right thoughts when they do occur and that you are not going to let the unfavourable events carry on any further.

On Good Food

2010-05-22T18:39:00.000-07:00

Will and I frequent the Victoria Park cafe strip regularly. It's a stone's throw away from where we are and it has a fantastic array of cafes and restaurants. Parking is not always easy, but it is mostly free and you will always be able to find one if you don't mind walking 5 minutes.

So much to our delight we now have another restaurant to add to our favourite list. Also much to our delight, it is a new cuisine to add to our current list of Vietnamese, Japanese, Italian, Indian and Chinese cuisines. We are now loving Spanish tapas from the Imp.

A quick introduction on tapas for those who have yet to experience it. Traditionally this is the name of a wide variety of appetisers or snacks in Spanish cuisine which may be cold e.g. olives, cheese or warm e.g. battered fried squid. In Australia tapas has evolved into a more sophisticated cuisine and can comprise of many different tapas to make up a whole meal (definition extracted from Wikipedia). For me, it's a little like the equivalent of Spanish dim sum.

On the Imp

Service and Ambience

It was only by chance that Will and I stumbled across this restaurant as from the outside, the simple and humble outlook of the restaurant was easy to miss. Once inside the restaurant was small and even a little crampy, however, the clever use of wooden and brick walls, tender lighting, cushions and bar-stools created a cosy, comfortable ambience. It also meant that you could always get the attention of a friendly waiter or waitress when required.

Because of the above reason we were lucky to have the last table without a reservation but would highly recommend making a booking if you are thinking of dining there for dinner.

Note mentioning here as well was the washroom. Took me a few seconds to read the instructions and understood that the way to open and lock the door was not through a knob, but via a couple of red and green buttons on the wall. Very un-conventional.

The restaurant is a BYO and there is a liquor store just two doors away.

Food

Of the 6 dishes + 1 dessert we ordered, the standard was good on average with a couple being outstanding. Dishes were quick to be served, sauces were well-flavoured, the roasted potato cubes were crunchy and tasty and the warmed sticky date muffin with ice-cream did not disappoint.

The star of the night was definitely the Crispy Pork Belly with Apple Sauce. Whilst the skin was thin, crispy and roasted to perfection, the meat and fatty layer beneath the skin managed to stay soft and tender to the point that it melted in the mouth. The sweet and tangy apple cubes and sauce was a delicious and clever way to balance out the "heaviness" of the dish. Being fans of pork bellies (and we 've tried many variations) Will and I both unanimously agreed it was one of the best we've had and ordered the dish twice.

We understand that the menu changes from time to time so the delectable pork belly may no longer be there when we next visit the Imp, but we look forward to other future surprises that the restaurant has to offer.

Value for money

I have to mention that dinner at the Imp was pricier than our average Saturday night restaurant as an afterthought before you read my blog and decide that you would immediately have to make a dinner booking. We paid close to $50 per person last night, and that was excluding the $20 bottle of wine which I bought from the shop next door. All up I believe that the experience was worth the value and although we will not be making it our regular dining spot we would definitely be going back.

Picture courtesy of theimp.com.au

On Growing Up

2010-03-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

We will all grow up at some stage.

Whether we are Sons, Daughters, Sisters, Brothers, Lovers, Friends ... we will reach a phase in our lives where difficult decisions will have to be made. The complexity of the decisions will ultimately be based on the costs of choosing one over the other - how much do we have to give up or lose?

Some decisions can be simpler, for example, do I want to marry William?

What do I have to lose? The possibility of being with another man? This is not a consideration for me, as I do not believe there is another man I would rather be with apart from Will. The fact that I will have to move out from my parents' home? This is a heftier consideration since I am very close to my family, but since our new home is only minutes away from my parents' home, this will not cost much either. I might have to do more housework and cook occassionally, but I can put up with this. What do I have to gain? A life-time guarantee to start a family with a man whom I love and loves me as much in return. Someone who will take a vow to be by my side through the good and bad times, and someone whose words I can completely trust. Relatively simple and un-complex decision.

However to give another example, what if Will was someone I met while I was travelling overseas? What if the man who asked me to marry him was not from the same continent and for me to say yes, it would be at the cost of moving overseas away from all those I love and all that I have known? And what if, this place overseas might not recognise my qualifications and I would not have the same career certainty that I would have if I am back home? Saying yes would be much more difficult then. Much more courageous. As it is at the expense of losing a lot, a lot more.

Life and fate sometimes places us in difficult situations. I love my family. Sometimes I wish we can all be young again, where we are living, growing up, playing and joking in the same household and where difficult decisions do not have to be made. I sometimes secretly (and selfishly) wish that we can all grow old together, within close proximity of each other, even after we have found the other halves of our lives. I know that this is wishful thinking and probably far from reality.

Someone close to me would have to make a difficult decision. Whilst I know that there will not be a right or wrong decision, I hope that the decision will be one that makes her happy.

On Being Engaged

2010-03-21T03:49:00.000-07:00

I have now been 2 weeks and 2 days ... engaged.

After 27 years of being a "single" woman, and 4 years of going out with Will, I am now engaged. Wow. The term still sounds a little foreign to me. And I still need to get familiar with referring to Will as my fiance.

I used to think that being engaged will not change anything, only the marriage will. Being engaged is just a means of letting others know that I will be getting married soon. I mean, Will and I have been going for years. We see each other every couple of days, bought a place together, I sleep over on the weekends and we have agreed that that I will not move in until we're married. I have met his parents, he has met mine, and our parents have even met each other. How would , or could, being engaged add anymore to that?

However, strange as it sounds, it does. In ways that I cannot express in words. Our relationship has strengthened, activities together seem sweeter and we are making more time for each other. Hey, I am even nagging less! I think it may be because there is now the invisible string that binds us together - and we both firmly understand our commitment to each other (although it's not really invisible, it's made visible through the beautiful sparkle on my finger, which makes me rather touched every time I look at it). Whatever it is, being engaged has successfully raised our relationship to a new level and I am quietly pleased about it.

My Preciousss...

2010-03-13T06:27:00.000-08:00

As quoted by Gollum / Smeagol from the Lord of the Rings

Wigs or no Wigs

2010-03-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

Have lost some weight. I think it's due to the busy schedule, an untimed combination of Chinese New Year, the engagement, family members visiting, operating Style Reverie and a new project starting up. On weekdays I'm running from a client meeting to another and updating websites, and on weekends, I'm running from shops to airports to Bridal Fairs. Funny how you unsuspectingly lose weight when you're not trying, but always fail to do so when you desperately try to.

Saw in the papers yesterday a picture of the WA lawyers and judges donning their wigs for the last time. A decision was made end of last year to abandon the centuries-old tradition. Due to curiosity I did a bit of research after I read the news on why in the first place lawyers wore wigs. Interestingly, I couldn't find a single consistent answer as to the reason (not online anyway). Answers range from the portrayal of impartiality, to self-protection; to it's just the way they dressed in the 1600 and they never got around to updating it. I guess the decision to abandon is probably sensible then. If it is unclear to the people wearing it why they are wearing it in the first place, then the reason for wearing it cannot be that important - no?

Nevertheless the decision would have been less painful if Will and I hadn't spent hours (and hundreds of dollars) in Sydney a couple of years back to hunt down the perfect wig.

Beauty Without Boundaries

2010-02-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

I was asked the other day what the target age market of Style Reverie was.

I opened my mouth to respond, with the numbers of "between 20 to 35" on the tip of my tongue, then stopped.

That's not true I thought to myself. If my mom wants to wear something from the collection, she would look perfectly fine (and fabulously trendy) in it. And mom is not within the age group of 20 to 35.

These days, with the combined factors of beauty products, the media and the resulting increased of confidence in women, looking good and stylish is no longer confined to those who are young and / or wealthy. Commercialism, innovation and creativity have made looking beautiful and confident accessible to women of all ages (look at Elle MacPherson!) and across many levels of income. Gone were the days when only those women who were not married, who were educated enough to be working or were married to rich husbands can afford to buy and put on good make-up and beautiful clothes. With the emergence of multi-level marketing (think from Red Earth, Mabelline and Revlon to MAC, Lancome, Christian Dior; designer wear now being available at Target) and online shopping channels, women these days have ample (if not unlimited) options to products that make them look and feel good about themselves.

In fact Helena Rubinstein's infamous quote There are no ugly women, only lazy ones is more relevant now than it ever was.

I think again about the question posed to me, and I think the right answer would be that Style Reverie caters to a market who appreciates beautiful clothes of simple elegance at reasonable prices (as we do not have to pay building leases or store employees). Style Reverie delivers to a particular taste, a sense of style, but not to a particular age group. To constrain ourselves to an age group would be to deny the ability of others to feel confident and be creative about what they wear.

And this is a belief that we'll like to share.
------------------

On another note, William proposed to me last night. I am now engaged :)

On Noble Jobs

2010-02-06T16:18:00.000-08:00

In my career I have mostly come across people who are in their jobs because they love the challenge and hype of the corporate world and of solving complex problems for big organisations, or because they love the money that comes with it. Therefore I have always been impressed by people on the other side who choose to take up jobs which are sometimes dangerous, do not necessarily generate them a lot financial return but which I find so noble.

Ticking off the list, there are the policemen, the firemen, the teachers, the garbage collectors, the prosecutors and the doctors (only partially because most of the time they do get paid heaps), and let us not forget, the bus drivers.

Now, bus drivers are people whom I come across most mornings when I go to work. Although most of the time the bus trips are fairly uneventful, I observe that the bus driver is perhaps one of the few occupations that come with stress at multiple levels even during an uneventful trip and worse still, during an eventful one e.g.

- time pressure - buses usually have to be at a certain location at a specific time
- time pressure, in addition to driving a big complex machine with about 20 different buttons
- bad driving from other vehicles - I have been involved in a "bus accident" on 2 occasions and witnessed 1
- providing sufficient and safe space on the bus to your passengers - telling anxious, perhaps work-late people that they can no longer board the bus because it's full
- dealing with kids and other fully-abled passengers who do not voluntarily give space to people in need
- and the most unfortunate of them all, dealing with passengers who are abusive towards other passengers or the bus driver themselves - type in "bus driver attack" on google and be surprised by how many incidents that are returned

I understand that in some of these instances they might not have a choice (these would be the drivers who merely grudgingly nod at you when you say "good morning" to them), but I have also seen bus drivers who are in their jobs purely because they love it and they love getting people to their destinations on time (these are the drivers who play chirpy jazzy music in the mornings and greet you with smiley "good mornings"). In fact, if you remember the sad news of Mr Sin who lost his eye last year from a bus attack, Mr Sin had been a driver for 18 years and liked his job. Needless to say, he would not be returning to bus driving after the incident.

Like any other jobs, but particularly so for these noble jobs, I find it sad that people are discouraged from doing what they love doing due to the ignorant, callous and sometimes violent acts of others. I think that we have to remember that a lot of these noble people are performing their jobs for the betterment of the society, jobs which most of us would not risk our dear lives to do - so instead of criticising them we should show them the amount of respect they deserve. On a selfish note, I would not want to wake up one morning and find that there are no longer bus drivers around - city parking is very expensive (this will be yet another topic for another day).

Highlights of the Week

2010-02-01T03:09:00.000-08:00

1. My first comment received on my blog! After 2.5 months of diligent writing I have finally received a comment (being aware also that this might not be a "real" comment given that it's written in Mandarin - I wouldn't know!). I tried to put it through Google Translate and it sounded ok. Thanks!

Note: Google Translate is an awesome tool which can provide you with a literal translation for most major languages. Although it will not translate a 40-page Japanese report into an understandable report in English (I tried), but it works well enough for basic purposes. Just for fun, try putting these Korean words through "내 블로그를 읽어 주셔서 감사합니다".

2. Will and I haven't been spending a lot of time by ourselves for the last few weeks so we took the opportunity to turn a fishing trip in Bicton Quarantine Park into a picnic for only the two of us. The view of the Swan River from the park was breathtaking (and we can view the magnificent Mosman Bay just directly opposite us), and we stayed on late enough to see the full moon casting bright, shimmery, white light onto the waters. Although we didn't catch anything that night it was a lovely night out.

Bicton Quarantine Park

3. I found out late last week that I will be commencing on a new project within these couple of weeks. This is a great opportunity as the client is a reputable global organisation, the project is a critical driver and I will get to work with real experts in the field (from the US). I cannot wait for it to begin!

4. Another highlight at work today (which can almost match the above) was that Nestle was doing a promotion on their HEAVEN range ice-cream and we received free ice-cream today! I picked the chunky cookie flavour and when I bit into it, I felt like I was in ....

5. Style Reverie is undergoing a rebranding exercise at the moment. For the last week, with the assistance of a very talented friend (www.horngshii.com), I have been making myself busy with the redefination of the SR logo. I have settled on the following. It should be imparting a chic, simple, fun feel. What do you think?

Style I Love ...

2010-01-23T20:25:00.000-08:00

What I'm loving at the moment

A pair of black tapered trousers for work and for play

From left (clock-wise): Black tapered pants, Topshop (http://www.topshop.com/), Blouse with corsage (out of stock), Blouse with sequins, Black elegant bag, Style Reverie (http://www.stylereverie.com/), Costa tan heels, Tony Bianco (http://www.tonybianco.com.au/)

Little House Treasures

2010-01-19T03:43:00.001-08:00

Six months after settling into our new place we are still discovering little hidden treasures ...

From our guest room we saw a bird nest on with little chicks. We also discovered a cherry tomato tree in our backyard.

Sometimes I wish the world can be a little less serious ...

I have donated to the Haiti disaster ... have you?

On Good Food

2010-01-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

Long-time friend from high-school and wife, who are currently residing in Melbourne, visited Perth earlier this week and wanted to catch up. Now being lovers of good food they also requested that I, the Perth-ian, recommend a good restaurant.

Horror.

Now, if they were travelling from any other city in Australia or from overseas, then the job would have been easier because I can either take them somewhere which I regard as good or at least let them try cuisines that they do not often get at home. But what can a Perth-ian offer the Melbourne-ians, whose city is known as the city of good food? Any restaurants we have, they have more, and probably in better quality too. It's like asking me to recommend a good Perth shopping place to a Melbourne fashionista!

However.

I did discover a very peculiar thing through conversations with them - and that is, for all the Greek, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Indian, bakeries and 1,001 sweets shops that Melbourne has to offer - they cannot remember seeing a German restaurant. The good ol' German restaurant. Well, not only does Perth have a few, we have a couple of really recommendable ones too.

We took them to my favourite German restaurant, the Alpine. To those who have not heard of this restaurant, it is a well-hidden gem within the suburb of Carlisle, a house-turned-restaurant that is easily miss-able from the outside to those who are unaware (quote a friend who lives down the road: Is that a restaurant??). It carries through a similar theme inside the restaurant - you walk through the main door to a cosy common hallway that is filled with a quaint decorations and handful of tables. If you look carefully you can see a picture of John Howard on the wall (taken with the owner of the restaurant), nestled amongst the many Restaurants of the Year Awards they have won in previous years. There are separate rooms to accommodate more diners to the side and down a flight of staircase to the back.

In relation to the food there are a couple of things you need to be aware of:

1. You will have to be prepared to wait. For quite a while. The restaurant is solely run by a husband and wife team - husband as chef and wife as waitress with no additional help. The chef also takes a lot of pride in his cooking and is persistent that you will have to wait in order to get good food (and he is right). A tip: Have a cool, thirst-quenching malty German beer while you wait.

2. Although there are a few of the dishes that are superbly delectable, not all the dishes are equally yummy. A good indication to start with is - always order the German dish i.e. if you're torn between a choice of the pepper steak and the Schweinehaxe - choose the latter.

3. Be prepared to have lots of meat. Lots and lots of good meat.

My personal favourites are: the Schweinehaxe (a 1kg baked pork hock with crunchy skin and extremely soft flesh), the Gebratene Ente (half duck stuffed with apples and herbs also baked to perfection) and Kasespatzle and fried camembert for starters.

Unfortunately I was too busy enjoying myself the other night I did not take any pictures - here is a picture of the Scheweinehaxe for your hungry eyes, courtesy of the Alpine's website:

Saturday Mornings

2010-01-15T17:14:00.000-08:00

My favourite time of the week ... Saturday mornings.

Reasons:

1. I spend all of Friday looking forward to the weekend, and this is the first indication that it has arrived.

2. I can sleep in.

3. I can spend time at my leisure sipping coffee, reading the entertaining Saturday papers and surfing the net, in peace and quiet (my sister does not usually wake up til noon).

4. I can eat whatever I want for breakfast (it is a self-imposed rule that I have to eat healthier when I am working).

My breakfast today - seafood ramen with an egg mmm

Weekend Ramblings

2010-01-10T03:46:00.000-08:00

Evolution of the WA anti-hoon law

Spent the last couple of days being amused by firstly, how restrictive and inflexible our state's anti-hoon law was (any car found contravening the law would be seized, regardless of whether the driver is the owner of the car e.g. the car would be seized even if the mechanic is the one driving it), secondly, how resistance to change the minister was to the law, even when it was not making sense and thirdly, I was even more amused by how quickly the minister was willing to change the law after the news has been published and was criticised by the public.

Watched The Avatar (finally!)

Gotta blog it (just because 1. it's my first ever 3D movie and 2. everyone else has an opinion!).

Anyone who have been reading the papers or out and about would have known to either book their tickets online or rock up early to ensure tickets availability. Well, I knew, but I just didn't get around to doing it.

There were only 40 seats left in the room when we bought our tickets, so not only did we have to sit in one of the front rows, our seats were on the left hand side. So we had to sit through the movie in an awkward angle, my stomach was slightly queasy from the 3D effect from a wrong angle, and I had to use my hand to keep the 3D glasses on my non-existent nose bridge throughout the movie.

Having said that I really enjoyed the movie! The plot was not original (we came out feeling like we have watched a replay of Pocahontas, or Dances with Wolves) but there were a few things that kept me intrigued and engaged all throughout, if nothing else:

- The breathtaking sceneries and exotic creatures on Planet Pandora, and the angles from which the movie was filmed (lots of close-up's and zoom in's) to create the most amazing 3D effect

- I found the blue species of "people" strangely very attractive and captivating in their lean, fit forms, large eyes, skimpy costumes and smooth movements (Sam Worthington looked better blue)

- I always love fantasy movies and watching things which are pure creations of the minds, things which can keep my mind off the real world for a while (I am a kid at heart like that)

I found the 2.5 hours, $20 and sore arm to be worth my while - what about you?

My handsome blue hunk

Love the box

Have been looking forward to the weekends more these days. It's more than just the fact that we're not working and I can sleep in... but it is also the 2 days of the week when Will and I can sit down together (on the comfortable couch which I picked) and watch our latest favourite Korean dramas.

Latest fave: IRIS

If you like action movies, or movies about detectives and CIA agents, or movies about conspiracies, or if you just like watching the flawless features of Kim Tae Hee, you would enjoy this drama. Apart from an all-star cast, the drama also has a catchy sountrack and some spectacular scenes shot from Japan and Hungary. IRIS is still currently being aired in Korea as I type this, so I think a translated or subtitled version will only be available in DVD a couple of months from now.

The flawless Kim Tae Hee

Hot Weather and Steamed Fish

2010-01-06T04:25:00.000-08:00

With the hot (sometimes disgustingly so) weather creeping in on us, Will and the boys have been going through a fishing frenzy. Apparently the hot weather attracts the fishes. Herrings, taylors, even blowies. Signs that I suspect they have an obsession with fishing:

Will and Justin went on a 10-hour fishing trip, in a little dinghy, starting in the wee hours (ie. 4 am) of New Year's day but did not catch anything. Coming home smelly and tired they swore to be off fishing for the next year or so. Less than 2 days later they decided to go fishing again.
That day we had planned to visit Will's parents in the evening; that afternoon we received one phone call invitation to go fishing, and his parents would have to wait.
Eric mentioned a sale at Anaconda, and all 3 boys ended up with discounted rods and funny-looking hats with lamps.
Each conversation they have had whether in person or on Facebook inadvertently leads to fishing.

With all the fishes the boys are catching, a new worry emerges. I had to dig up old books, ring my mom (who is currently in Malaysia) and spent time googling for fish recipes. What good are freshly caught fishes if they are not freshly cooked and consumed?

Last Saturday night they brought home 8 fishes, 4 taylors and 4 snooks. I decided to cook the taylors using one of the most traditional Chinese methods of cooking fish. Steamed fish has remained a true favourite with the Chinese because whilst being quite easy to prepare, it is the best way to ensure the flesh of fish remains smooth and silky and that the fresh taste of the fish is preserved. I have decided to share the recipe of this dish (this is a combination of my mom's recipe, the technique of a friend I recently spoke to and Kylie Kwong's recipe online):

1. Soak a couple of Chinese mushrooms in water until soft. Once soft, slice the mushrooms.

2. Slice some ginger and spring onions into small sticks.

3. Place fish into a heatproof plate together with the mushrooms, parts of the ginger, some water and sherry.

4. Place a tray over a wok that is filled a quarter with water. Place the heatproof plate on the tray.

5. Cover the wok and steam the fish for about 8 minutes until the flesh is cooked. To test you can either use a chopstick or finger to poke the thickest part of the fish (just slightly below the gills). The flesh should be soft and white (not translucent).

6. Pour the remaining ginger and spring onions onto the fish. Mix some water, soy sauce, sugar and sesame oil together and drizzle over fish.

7. Heat some oil in a separate frying oil and when moderately hot, pour over fish. Serve immediately.

Note: Recipe works best for small to mid-size fish. I think you should also be able to use it on fillets. If you try this let me know how you go!

Remnants of the steamed taylor - picture courtesy of Eric.

Our Merry Trip to Cervantes

2010-01-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Funny how I am supposed to be on holidays and yet have had a busier schedule than when I was not ...

On Cervantes

Only 2.5 hours drive away from Perth is this quiet and serene beach, and surprisingly still very much untouched by commercialism. Long stretches by soft sand, amazing blue green water just a few metres from shore, irregular coves for the fishermen and parasailers. It is the perfect holiday destination for people who love the beaches without the commercial luxuries.

If you are one who is up for more excitement or sight-seeing, the Pinnacles and Jurien Bay are only within 30 minutes driving distance away, where you can witness strange but amusing ancient rock formations or go swimming with the sea lions. Lancelin is also just off the path to Cervantes where my sister and Justin decided to stop by for sand boarding.

What Cervantes has a lot of ...

Sea breeze, wind
Fishes - Will and Justin caught their biggest catches ever and we had fish for dinner on both nights
Skillful fishermen - a couple of kids no older than 10 came up to us on the jetty and showed us their catch for the day - a squid!
Parasailers, swimmers, beach cricketers
Boats
Crayfish - even the local petrol station cafe sells them

What Cervantes did not have a lot of ...

Residents - a 2006 consensus estimated the population to be around 500
Shops - we counted 1 grocery shop and less around 5 eating outlets

We spent only a couple of nights in the small sleepy town but felt like we have had a good relaxed break. My verdict? I think it's worth visiting for anyone who's either looking for a quick getaway from Perth or loves fishing or both!

1st Christmas in Australia

2009-12-23T16:15:00.000-08:00

This is my first Christmas in Australia.

I notice ...

Shopping centres, outlets are crowded with people milling around and shopping for Christmas presents
Supermarkets and markets are crowded with wives, mothers stocking turkey meat, seafood, cherries and chocolates - ingredients for Christmas eve dinners and Christmas day lunches
The main suburban streets are packed with cars making a dash to the shops, getting out of town or coming back into town to spend time with family
The city streets are strangely quiet and empty with most of the office workers on leave
Friends and families are having barbeques, casual gatherings, chit-chats in their backyards
Others are hitting the bars, living it up and having a few drinks

I have within the last couple of days ...

Attended two and hosted one house-warming parties
Jumped on a boat trip to Rottnest island with the corporate crew, partied a little and got sub-burnt (despite all the sunscreen I slathered on)
Involved myself in the mad shopping rush to grab a couple of presents, got carried away and bought myself little presents too
Spent the quiet-est dong jie (winter solstice festival) ever with my sister, her boyfriend and the steamboat
Caught up with a friend / ex-colleague I had not seen in months since he decided to leave quiet Perth
Invited my cousin and husband for dinner and cooked up a Korean feast
Written Christmas emails to people I like but haven't kept in touch with for a while

I feel ...

The Christmas spirit and holiday mood is brimming in everyone's backyards
Happy, excited - like when I was a child expecting the arrival of a celebration
Loved and blessed and that my fear of a lonely Christmas was unfounded
That 2009 has been a good year and I hope for more to come

I wish ...

Lots of joy, love, luck and good health for the good people in my life in the year to come

Company Christmas Function... Again?

2009-12-16T04:45:00.000-08:00

I attended a meeting the other day and watched as our partner and the client swapped to and forth stories about one of the most important corporate functions of the year ...

the company Christmas function.

Drinks and dinner at the South Perth yatch club, that's where the client is having their Christmas function. I have heard of some others which are having lunches or dinners in ritzy city restaurants or drinks at a tavern or bar. Being the year of one of the worst global financial crises when most corporate expenses are cut and pays frozen - it is a wonder that our firm has still decided to keep ours. But instead of having it at one of the glitzier restaurants of yesteryears, we are going to have a barbeque in a park instead.

The corporate Christmas function is a strange beast.

It is one of the very few events in year (if not the only one) where corporate employees fret about what to wear, whether to buy a new dress, how to do their hair and how much make-up to apply just so they can parade in front of their colleagues - people whom they see each every weekday of the year in their black suits, white shirts, pencil skirts and glasses. It is that one event where people decide they can let go and have a couple more drinks than usual (sometimes more than what is best for them) and do or say things which they would not do or say at any other time of the year (and somehow believe they can get away with it just because it's a Christmas function). And I'm referring to actions that are worse than flirting with that "married with kids" colleague of yours - which is not a good place to start anyway.

Now if you're not careful and you fall into one the following categories 1) wear something overly tarty or 2) do or say something which you would regret the following day after the alcohol wears off (if you remember it that is) - you bear the risk of losing respect within the organisation, or being referred to as the fruitcake (or loser, or other form of crude references) for years to come, or even worse, if the scale of your mistake is too unforgiving, of losing your job.

With the above knowledge and the overbearing pressure that comes with it, how can one truly say they anticipate and look forward to enjoy the corporate Christmas function??

I suppose one way to look at it is to see it like any other corporate event of the year and not as something overly unique. Why worry about it more just because it is an event closer to the end of the year? Why go through the extreme pain of contemplating what to wear to appear like you are actually cooler than those white shirts and pencil skirts? (not unless you are really attending with the aim of flirting with the married man). It is after all, just another networking event and an opportunity to get to know the other people within the organisation with whom you had little time or contact with throughout the year. It is a chance for you to talk to your colleagues about the festive season and all the good things that come with it (religion, family, yummy food) instead of work-related matters. And talking about non-work-related matters is really a bridge to creating closer future working relationships with those colleagues.

It is Christmas and it is time to be jolly, be concerned about the well-beings of people around you and have a good toast to the year to come.

So with this I hope you lots of fun at your corporate Christmas function this year. Stay out of the heat. Dress safe. Drink safe. Party safe. (And don't do anything you'd regret).

Mom's Christmas Function

2009-12-12T03:07:00.000-08:00

I received a call from Mom while at work the other day.

"You're always very free on Saturdays aren't you?" Mom asked.

"Uhhh... " (I knew she was right, but I wasn't in a hurry to admit to my sad state of life) "Sometimes. Why?"

"My company's Christmas party. We're entitled to bring a guest. Can you come with me?"

I said yes. Well, it's an opportunity to dress up, meet some people and have a free lunch at a nice venue - why not?

I attended the lunch function this afternoon. I put on one of my favourite skirts (knee-length, flowy and floral) and a black top to suit the smart casual dress code and combat the 37-degree heat. We arrived 20 minutes earlier to mingle at the pre-lunch drinks. The hallway was nice and cool. Some of her colleagues were friendly and made conversations with me. So far, so good.

As we were herded into the function room something struck me as odd. Not everyone brought a guest. And those who did, with the exception of mom and another lady, they brought their partners or spouses. So I whispered to Mom and asked her whether it was true that everyone was entitled to bring a guest.

She then grinned at me and whispered back "Initially I thought so when I invited you. Then we were told that we can only bring partners. So I did not tell them you are my daughter." She looked slightly triumphant.

At which point I started to feel a little dizzy. Dizzy with not knowing how to react. What must the other people be thinking? Did they think I'm Mom's partner?? (what the-?) Or did they know what was going on but was too polite to point that out? What was Mom thinking??

At that very moment I felt so ... Asian.

Now if you're Asian you can probably relate to what I mean and how I felt. Asian people, particularly Chinese, have a penchant for wanting the best value out of everything, at whatever cost. We would stand at a stall and negotiate for 15 minutes over a $10 pair of stockings. We would take along the whole family along to a wedding reception to make up for the gift that we prepare. At a continental buffet breakfast we would eat until we can no longer move, and then sneak a couple of apples into our bags for snacking throughout the day.

That's the inherited value of being Asian. And that was how I felt at that exact moment.

I realised I had two options then. One, I could sneak out of the room and tell Mom that I'd come back for her when she was done (and avoid the embarrassment of someone coming up to me and asked who I was). Or I could stay on and try to have a good time, regardless of what others think of me.

I then looked at Mom. She seemed so ... happy. She had not stopped smiling since we arrived. It was close to Christmas, she had worked hard all year round and now she was given an opportunity to have fun and celebrate with her colleagues and with people she loves (namely, me). Everyone around us was having a few drinks and a bit of fun, and generally being warm towards me. I love Mom to bits. I could not just leave. So I decided to stay.

2 hours later I was glad that I did. It was fun after all, despite how unsure I felt at first. I ate a little, drank a little, chat a little, danced a little. At one point I was even singing Jingle Bells along with the live music band performing on stage. Apart from a couple of questioning stares at the beginning no one questioned my presence.

And best of all the petit fours that were later served as dessert were scrumptuous. Between Mom and I we would have had at least 6 of them, together with a cup of mousse.

After all we are Asians. We felt obliged to eat our value worth at a buffet lunch.

What If There's No Tomorrow?

2009-12-09T05:54:00.000-08:00

I was halfway writing a post on corporate Christmas functions when I received a call from Will saying that he won't be coming over tonight. A close relative of Will's mate has just passed away. He and a couple of friends are going to spend some time with this mate tonight.

This is of course not the first time someone close to a friend of ours passed away; however hearing this news will always make me feel upset and sad - for the person to whom this happens to but also generally. I have been fortunate enough until this stage in life to not have to lose a loved one, but from time to time I would wonder what it's like not to have someone I love around, ever again.

What if I can no longer talk to Will every night before I sleep? What if I can no longer hear my mom grumble about her workplace woes during dinner time? What if when I am back in Malaysia the next time I won't see my grandmother sitting around the dining table reading her newpapers?

But these thoughts are usually to painful to bear and I would just stop thinking about it altogether.

It would just be much easier to appreciate the people you love when they are around, so that if they do happen to disappear one day, you know you have nothing to regret, and that they know you love them. Would it not be most painful to lose someone not knowing whether they understand how you feel about them?

Will and I have a self-imposed policy (or rather it's his policy which I have learnt to adopt) that the two of us will not go to sleep on any night after having had an argument without reconciling. We have to come to mutual terms or at least be on talking conditions in order for both of us to get sleep. It has worked for us so far (because sleep is my precious) - and which also means that we are rarely in an argument for longer than a day. So tonight before you go to sleep, do something nice for the people you love. Or if you're in the midst of an argument, have an attempt at patching up.

Ensure that you have everything done you can, tonight, before you go to sleep, so that tomorrow by the time you wake up, no matter what has happened, you will have no regrets.

PS. And corporate Christmas functions will have to wait ...

Highlights of the Week

2009-12-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

A couple of events worth mentioning this week:

Event # 1: I re-found my favourite necklace!

I have a habit of buying necklaces when I travel overseas. I love necklaces - I have always believed that no matter how dull an outfit is, you can always make it look fashionable through the right necklace.

There was this necklace which that I bought in Malaysia a couple of years back. It was a blue chunky necklace, made of flat round pieces of stones linked together. It was my favourite and I loved to wear it especially with my work attire to make things a little less dull. However it broke last year when it got stuck to a chair and I tugged at it (don't ask me how because I couldn't remember). I was so devastated that I kept the broken necklace for weeks even when I knew it was not mendable!

I was at a shopping centre in Leeming a couple of days back to do some banking. And of course, being at a shopping centre for the first time I couldn't help walking and browsing around to see if there are some hidden treasure stores which I have not discovered before.

And there it was! Right in the middle of an aisle store - a necklace that looked exactly like the one I once loved and broke (only a slight shade darker). Now this was being sold at about twice the price I purchased it for back in Malaysia, but the storekeeper convinced me that it was made of some precious stones and was well worth it. Needless to say I didn't need too much persuasion and I paid for the necklace, even just for old times sake.

Here I'm introducing my rekindled love...

Event # 2: For anyone who has read my previous posts - welcome to a new theme for my site!

I like my old theme; I spent some time designing it and I thought the final product had a forlorn, melancholic and wistful feel to it (which I hoped reflect my personality). But after a couple of weeks blogging and reflecting through my posts I realised I am not as wistful and forlorn as I would like to be; but instead my posts tend to be more quirky and contemporary. Therefore I have decided to use a theme that match my posts, as opposed to trying to re-engineer my posts to suit my theme...

Realisation:

On Customer Service

2009-12-01T06:53:00.000-08:00

I am not usually big on make-up, but there are certain products which I live for and am convinced make a difference as to whether I feel confident, or the lack of, on any particular day. Like the Faceshop metallic range lipstick, in red-orange.

I first came across the lipstick when I visited a Faceshop branch in Melbourne two years back. Tried it, loved it, finished it and the next time I was back in Melbourne, tried to look for it but realised they no longer carry this line. Various attempts of searching online and within the Faceshop branch in Perth did not return any success.

Therefore imagine my ecstasy when I located the exact lipstick in a Faceshop branch in Myeondong, Seoul - at one third the price I bought it for back in Melbourne!! Happy me was in a good mood and was ready to make some additional purchases to celebrate my find. I went up to the sales lady, whom I realised quickly was Chinese and not Korean (much to my relief) and tried to ask her a couple of questions in elementary chinese regarding another product.

She turned around, looked at me with her disinterested slit eyes, and ... to my horror, turned back and completely ignored me!

Now by this stage I was seething inside and decided to leave the store having only purchased the lipstick and nothing else (I would have left empty-handed if I had not been looking for it for 2 years).

Looking back at that incident now makes me wonder ... what do retail shop owners look for when hiring a staff?
There are two broad aspects of skills sets which an employer would generally look for in an employee - technical skills e.g. accounting or engineering knowledge; and transferable / behavioural skills e.g. friendly attitude to a customer. Technical skills are something you can learn, although depending on what industry and role you are in, the timing to learn these skills can take from 2 weeks to 5 years. Whereas behavioural skills, I believe, are not something you can necessarily learn within a time period, no matter how long. These are inherent within a person, or if not, there has to be a (huge) willingness from the part of the employee to want to acquire these skills. E.g. how do you teach someone to be friendly?

I looked back to my uni days, when I was an international student trying to look for a part-time job with little prior work experience but a very humble attitude and extreme willingness to learn. In many occasions I was discounted for a job in a restaurant, or a cafe, or a retail store due to my lack of experience. Now I question if I was an employer myself would I be making the same judgement? How long would it take for someone to have taught me how to handle the cash till as opposed to someone trying to teach me how to be nice to a customer?

At the end of the day, if you are a customer, would you have walked away from a store because a perfectly experienced employee has been rude to you, or because an perfectly polite employee is a little slow in bringing you what you need?

I am upset that I had not purchased 5 more of the Faceshop lipsticks and another 2 bottles of BBcream, but as a customer my integrity would not have allowed me to make that decision. Given another chance I would not even have bought that lipstick - maybe.

Home on a Saturday Night (but it's ok... )

2009-11-28T06:41:00.000-08:00

I am home with my mom on a Saturday night. No dinner parties, no drinks or coffee catch-up's with friends, no Will to hang out with (he's gone fishing).

No one is updating Facebook. Not many friends are sitting in front on MSN. Even our Chinese satellite TV stations decide to discriminate against people who has to stay home on a Saturday night (not interested in a Chinese beauty show nor a scary ghost movie).

Well if this happened to me 5 years ago I would have felt extremely sorry for myself. I would be wondering why I was not popular enough to have plans on a Saturday night. I hated the feeling of loneliness.

Loneliness is a strange thing. It's a feeling that is difficult to describe, except to say that it's that feeling you get each you come home to your own empty bedroom after a huge party or having been hanging out with a big group of people. It's also that feeling you get when you are in a big city, surrounded by people and many exciting things but you are not able to talk to anyone or do anything. It's that feeling you sometimes have even when you are physically close to people who supposedly love you, but at the same time feeling like you don't have anyone.

It is that huge black void in your heart which you feel can drown you, if you let it.

However loneliness has not been catching up with me for a while now. I think it might that I have been fairly busy and occupied, or that I am generally growing more content with life. Or perhaps, I have found people who truly love me and understand me. So rather, lately, even if I have to spend time by myself, I would choose to turn it into a nice melancholic encounter where I sit down by myself with a glass of wine and some nice music and let myself be inspired by the silence (and write on my blog, perhaps).

What a wonderful way to spend an evening.

Things I Like ...

2009-11-27T05:23:00.000-08:00

I like big bags and I cannot lie ... Big bags are so versatile. They are suitable for so many occasions (with only the exception of formal functions) and if you're anything like me, they fit your wallet, phone, tissue, water bottle and even a client file or a laptop when required (and I wonder why my shoulders ache sometimes).

We have a couple that's just arrived. Check them out.

On weekend events

2009-11-22T04:11:00.000-08:00

1. Green Tea Frost smoothie from Utopia. We went in initially wanting to buy bakery and snow (a drink made of shaved ice), but was recommended by the friendly employee to have a smoothie instead. We found the thick, milky green tea flavoured drink, mixed with sweet red bean, extremely refreshing on a hot day like this.

2. When Mom and Dad left home last night at 7:00 pm, they noticed that the alarm next door had gone off and the fence askew but the neighbours weren't home. We knocked on their door this morning to see if everything was ok - although not perfectly sure, they thought someone might have tried to break in. An RAC survey indicated that break-ins in WA are most likely to happen in the summer months - therefore people, please remember to lock up and stay safe during the hotter months.

3. This is the picture of my beloved white Vue bed and pillow sheet, now blotched with light pink patches:

Lessons learnt from this misfortune:
- Never mix white and red sheets (especially brand new ones) together when doing your laundry
- Never request your boyfriend / husband to do the laundry (without prior strict instructions and supervision)

On marriage

2009-11-20T23:01:00.000-08:00

Few days ago, during family dinner, mom passed on the news that Ex-Boyfriend No. 2 (who happened to be the son of a family friend) and wife were expecting their first child. Well, how delightful. Congratulations to them!

At this point my brother turned to me and kindly reminded me that all my ex-es were now either hitched or expecting children – what about me? I refrained from flicking my chopstick-clasped soy sauce chicken at him (trust me when I say we share a loving brother-sister relationship).

I am now at that age where friends, colleagues, ex-schoolmates, ex-es, cousins, second cousins etc are getting married and having children. I started receiving wedding invitations since a few years ago and have not stopped receiving them. Moms from both sides have decided to start gushing at babies of strangers at supermarkets. Most people we know (even those whom we’ve only just met) feel it is perfectly ok to ask whether Will and I are married and if not, when.

Now, there used to be a time when I thought marriage was not such a big deal. It is like a contract that two people sign to pronounce to the world that they want to be together, but one which can be easily terminated if both sides are no longer happy with the conditions (through a procedure called “divorce”). As a young person having that perception of marriage somehow made the process seem more straightforward, more practical and less daunting.

However, as I grow older, and the closer I get to this state of life, my idea of the “Hollywood marriage” no longer stands. Marriage is more than just a contract at law; or a public announcement; or an excuse to put on a gorgeous white dress or to show off the “dream wedding”. It is an oath of life-long and unconditional love, devotion, commitment and loyalty between two people, and an oath which should be honoured (as you would recite at the altar) through life and death. It is a promise that I will never leave you, I will share all I have with you and you will never be lonely again – and is a promise which I am giving unconditionally because I trust that you will do the same for me.

Marriage is also hard work. If you can work 12 hours everyday over 6 months to help a client realise their objective of 10% improvement in bottom line in return for some contracted fees, how should that measure in terms of effort required for a contract to provide another person with love and happiness for the rest of his or her life in return for the same favour? The feelings between two people will probably never be the same as when they initially meet or marry, and you are bound to come across issues and differences the longer you have been together. The oath of marriage is a promise that you will work hard to resolve any issues that come between yourselves no matter how big or small (and they will come) and separation is not an option for consideration.

If a marriage can easily be denounced within a few years due to “irreconcilable differences” why get married in the first place?

Therefore to me marriage is indeed a big, if not huge decision. However I truly believe that when the time comes, it will be a beautiful state to be in as you will provided the assurance that you will always be loved and protected, that the long, difficult path of life will forever be shared between two people. Therefore although daunting, two people who are ready should not be afraid to take the step and make the commitment.

What it should not be, though, is a decision that is made just because everyone is doing so.

PS: If you are reading this, it is definitely, absolutely not a hint. Honest :)

Why am I blogging again?

2009-11-16T05:05:00.000-08:00

By pure coincidence I was halfway writing this post when a friend asked me the same question - why am I blogging again?

4 years ago, as a university student, I started a blog which I terminated right before I commenced full-time work. Apart from wanting to ensure I was able to dedicate full time and attention to the job as a fresh graduate, the other reason for stopping was that I was beginning to question the purpose of blogging. Was it all just an excuse for extensive gossiping and whinging and an outlet for expressing my discontent with certain things in life? Was the content getting too personal to be on a public forum? I didn’t want to be associated with my ex-Blog as a working adult. I thought I was too getting too mature for that. So I stopped.

Now 4 years later, (assuming my level of maturity has increased - although you should never assume), I am again reunited with blogging. What is it about blogging that keeps luring me back?

For months now, I have started to wonder what it will be like if I am to be gone tomorrow? If I am to vanish forever from the face of this earth?

What will the living remember of me? What is there left in this world that would serve as a memoir of me apart from a few pictures and a couple of belongings here and there? Would those who knew me remember the character that I was? What about those who never get to know me? They would never know that I had once existed!

That thought scares me. The thought that the extent of my living is so miniscule in the scale of things that no one will remember in 10 years time and it actually does not matter. I felt like I had to start writing again, to start documenting aspects of my life, expressing my thoughts - to start making a mark (no matter how small) that will serve as evidence of my existence. I am not famous or great enough to have an autobiography written about me; nor am I talented or dedicated enough to write a book or sing songs. I can keep a diary, but that I will not be able to share with anyone else (not being Anne Frank).

Blogging not only allows me to express myself, but it also allows me to share them with those who care, those who share the same thoughts, or those who are merely interested. (And if Blogspot does not decide to get rid of inactive blogs my posts can also stay on the world wide web for many, many years to come). And quite the contrary from the reason I stopped blogging 4 years ago, I find that blogging allows me to occupy my mind on something else outside of work and exert some creativity, which is quite therapeutic.

Only that it will be different this time. Whinging and gossiping will be kept to a minimum. I would like to think that I have indeed matured over the last 4 years. I hope I will create posts that will help share experiences and ideas or otherwise provides a means of light but amusing reading.

Why don't we feel safe anymore?

2009-11-15T03:15:00.000-08:00

Will was mugged the other night walking home from the bus stop.

There were a couple of them. He was asked for a dollar. As he reached into his pocket to grab his wallet, he was punched in the side of his face. He fell to the ground and his wallet was snatched from him.

Now this incident makes me angry on many levels. Angry that my boyfriend was physically attacked and stolen from. Angry that someone is being punished for trying to do good. Angry that these kids probably did not feel guilt and would never be brought to justice for their bad doing. And also angry that our right to feel safe around our own neighbourhood was robbed from us, forever.

We went to the doctor's afterward to get Will a check up. After being told of the story the security man nodded knowingly and commented "You're lucky that it was only a punch - it could've been worse".

What happened to "I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you"? When and how did our society become so accustomed to and tolerant of violence that we should feel lucky that it was not more than a punch? And who can we actually blame for this?

The kids who stole from Will, who probably stood very little chance of growing up any other way the moment they were born into an environment of crime and violence?

The policeman whom we reported to, and told us that they were other matters of "higher priorities" that they needed to attend to that night (as they said the last two times our house was broken into)?

My very benevolent boyfriend who told the policeman that he understood and only stood by while they did little about it?

Or even more perhaps, the government who is very aware of the issue of Aboriginal crime and is not more diligent in trying to counter it?

While they make up less than 3% of the population in Western Australia, Aboriginals commit 20% of the violent crime in the State (UWA crime research centre). We read about Aboriginals being over-represented in the prison system. It is glaringly obvious that there is a more systemic issue involved here. And what advancements are being made to rectify this issue?

Will this be rectified if we continue providing welfares and state housing for life? Will this be rectified if we put them into prison and release them a short time later with a high prospect of reoffending? What about better access to education? Better access to health and economic opportunities? Improved assimilation with society and to be treated just like the rest of the population?

I don't have answers to any of the above and I will not admit to knowing this anymore than anyone else does. But I do know that being continually tolerant and indifferent of violent behaviour will not solve anything. It will only promote it.

On the Rape of Nanking

2009-11-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

There are a few things in life which can make you take a step back from the track of your fast-moving life and ... well, think. Ponder. Reflect on the purpose of life, the essence of humanity and all the other big, rhetorical questions.

This includes things like being involved in a near-death experience, the loss of a close friend or relative, the witnessing of a traumatic event unfolding, or the realisation of a traumatic event through the watching of a documentary or reading of a book. My recent reflection on the big questions stemmed from a book I have just read (and thankfully not one of the other former categories).

The Rape of Nanking (authored by Iris Chang, a reknowned American history writer of Chinese descent) is a non-fiction book that relived the terror of the events that unfolded during the Japanese invasion and occupation of China, and particularly Nanking, during World War II. As a Malaysian-Chinese descent myself, I have heard as a child of the stories and the types of torture inflicted by Japanese soldiers on war prisoners and civilans alike during this dark period both in China and Malaysia. Therefore a lot of the details in the book should not have surprised me.

But it did.

More than just surprised, it shocked me and haunted me with sleepless nights. Thinking that I knew something through hearsay, and being presented with written and pictorial evidence of the same event, are actually two very different things. To support her retelling of the event, Chang presented pages and pages of details and evidence on the Rape, which are taken from sources like letters, diaries and newspapers written during those times and interviews with witnesses who have survived the tragic event and also Japanese soldiers who have with their own hands carried out the Rape. Together, this evidence presented the unthinkable cruelty that was inflicted on the victims during the invasion which included murders and torture in the masses and countless occurences of rapes and forced prostitution.

Apart from the well-founded research, The Rape is also an extremely gripping book because it objectively told the story from 3 different perspectives - that from the perspective of the Japanese who carried out the Rape, that from the Chinese who were subject of the Rape and that from the foreigners who had made the courageous decision to stay back and help the Chinese during the invasion. The story-telling started from a time that is long before the invasion, describing the thousand-year-old Japanese system of strict social hierarchy and the chronology of events (from mid 1800's) that led to the psychology of the Japanese soldiers right before the invasion. The book closes with a chapter on events that are taking place decades after the Rape, on how the Japanese, the Chinese and the rest of the world are coming to grip with the atrocity.

For many days after, I ask myself the question of what I should be taking away from reading this book. Surely I, a Malaysian of Chinese descent who is now calling Australia home, should be taking something away from this. Well, after days of pondering, at the very least, I think it should be this two realisations:

Realisation of the extent of the atrocity that has happened, filling in a hole in the storybook of historical events, is a big step. Not letting others forget it, is the other big step. Human beings are known throughout history to be capable of inflicting utmost violence and pain to each other in the conquest of power, and this is probably unlikely to ever change - however, for those of us who do harbour hope for change for the better and for more peace in this violent world, realisation is crucial. As Chang said in her book, in George Santayana's words, Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Secondly I went to sleep the night after finishing the book, crying, not only for the pain that was suffered by the victims of Nanking half a century ago, but also in realisation of how fortunate I am to have my loved ones close to me, to have the ability to see them, touch them, talk to them and know that they are alright. For the many Chinese who suffered and perished during the dark period, many had to go through the agony of losing and not ever knowing what happened to husbands, wives, sons and daughters who were lost in the midst of the war; of waking up each day not knowing whether they would still be able to see their loved ones by the end of the day; of witnessing the torture, murder and rape of loved ones while being trapped in a web of helplessness. For all of these which I have never (and hopefully will never) had to go through, I am extremely grateful.

On my trip to South Korea

2009-11-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

The popular opening question for me lately had been "How was your trip to Korea?". Questions about holidays are always good conversation openers. But if you're not careful you will never get the storyteller to stop!

So what do I think of Korea? ... I loved it!

While in South Korea we spent most of our time in the vibrant capital of Seoul and then a few days travelling out to other areas like Jeju Island and Suwon. Mountains, clear streams, yellowing autumn leaves, numerous restored ancient palaces, lots of pickled vegetables and barbeque meat, fresh and raw seafood, rice wine served from small pots, endless selection of shopping delights ranging from the very modest to the very extravagant (food, fashion, art, souvenirs and many many other types of stores) - there are so many aspects to love.

Seoul

The word that sums up my perception of Seoul is "abundance". With a city population that comprises half of the population of Australia (more than the the population of Australia if we take into account the metropolitan areas) it is no wonder that everything we came across in Seoul were in abundance. Shopping centres, restaurants, bars and clubs, cars, buses, subways, national parks - they are all built to accommodate a city that is known as one of the largest cities in the world.

However the notion does not stop at man-made facilities, Seoul also carries a landscape that is dotted with hills and mountains. With the Han River running through the middle of the city(separating the administrative district of the city from the financial district (Yeouido) and the rich-man district (Gangnam)), the mountaineous landscape serves a beautiful serene backdrop which balances out the congested number of buildings and high-rises. We were lucky enough to stay in an apartment in Yeouido that is a short walking distance from the Han River and the popular Hangang Park from where we can enjoy this luxurious view.

View from the Hangang Park

View from the tower of Namsan, the highest point in Seoul

The other treat which Seoul provides in numbers to tourists are its ancient palaces. As Seoul used to house the old Joseon Dynasty the city has its fair share of palaces - this includes the "Five Grand Palaces" which are comprised of Changdeokgung, Changyeounggung, Deoksugung, Gyeongbokgung and Gyeonghuigung . Despite the aggressive modernisation that has been happening to South Korea for the last few decades, the restoration and preservation of these palaces are outstanding. We visited 2 out of 5 palaces (one of which was Changdeokgung, a UNESCO World Heritage site) and were shown past residences of kings and queens, a beautiful ancient secret garden hidden behind the trees, sites which were burnt down by Japanese during the invasion, and sites which were used to film the popular Korean drama Dae Jang Geum.

Hordes of visitors rushing to witness the "Secret Garden"

A display of a King's parade at Gyeongbokgung

Food and shopping

And how can a blog on a travel destination be completed without mention of food and shopping? To me the main highlight and epitome of Korean food is the banchan (the side dishes). Koreans usually serve anywhere from 2-12 side dishes with each meal and this applied to most of the food places we went to including Chinese or Japanese restaurants. The banchan can be comprised of a few types of dishes ranging from various types of kimchee (preserved vegetables), tofu, pickled squids, salads and other greens and they usually filled me up halfway even before I started on a main meal!

Korean meals are generally healthy and popular dishes include various types of soups (daengjang chigae, kimchee chigae, altang, myeungtang), rice mixed up vegetables (bibimbap), raw fishes and meat cooked on hotstone. Another popular dish with the Koreans, albeit less healthy and is considered more as a variation of Chinese food, is the jjajangmyun, which is noodles mixed wholly in rich black bean paste sauce and usually eaten at the same time with tangsuyuk (pork mixed with sweet and sour sauce). All these dishes present their own appeal to me, but my favourite would have to be the samgyetang (whole spring chicken stuffed with glutinous rice, ginseng and dates and cooked in soup) which to me is not only extremely delightful in taste but also presents health benefits.

I'll let the pictures tell the story (from top to bottom): Samgyalpsal - thick layers of pork cooked on hotstone and eaten together with lettuce, kimchee and rice; the many varieties of seafood at the fish market where we can select fishes for immediate raw consumption; banchan; samgyetang.

And finally, without any pictures for illustration (because there is always something else apart from picture-snapping that I would rather be doing), is the shopping. To me there are mainly 3 types of shopping - the cheap-end market shopping (which is good for things that does not require durability e.g. souvenirs, accessories, fashion clothes that change like the seasons); mid-end shopping (which is good for the young working class of people and generally includes imported international brands like Zara) and high-end shopping (which is good for anyone with a lot of moo-lah to spend).
And Seoul provides a haven for all 3 types of shoppers.

I find myself spending a lot of time and revisiting the low-end and mid-end shopping areas. One of the reasons is that (again), the abundance of choices. In Dongdaemun alone you can find at least 5 buildings, all next to each other, each with 4-6 levels, stocked with clothings and fashion accessories. The other reason is that I find that at a marginally more expensive price (as opposed to like say, China or KL), the quality of the products tend to be better. And with South Korea being one of the leaders for the fashion scene in Asia, I found that I was thrown with an abundance of choices for good quality, well-designed clothings!

There was not a moment of boredom over the 2 weeks when we were visiting Seoul. Being a small city girl I cannot imagine living permanently in a place like Seoul which appears to present non-ending excitement but equally, I imagine, the potential to create a huge sense of loneliness to a foreigner - but for a short-term visit, I think Seoul has all the ingredients that will make a holiday memorable.