On Growing Up

We will all grow up at some stage.

Whether we are Sons, Daughters, Sisters, Brothers, Lovers, Friends ... we will reach a phase in our lives where difficult decisions will have to be made. The complexity of the decisions will ultimately be based on the costs of choosing one over the other - how much do we have to give up or lose?

Some decisions can be simpler, for example, do I want to marry William?

What do I have to lose? The possibility of being with another man? This is not a consideration for me, as I do not believe there is another man I would rather be with apart from Will. The fact that I will have to move out from my parents' home? This is a heftier consideration since I am very close to my family, but since our new home is only minutes away from my parents' home, this will not cost much either. I might have to do more housework and cook occassionally, but I can put up with this. What do I have to gain? A life-time guarantee to start a family with a man whom I love and loves me as much in return. Someone who will take a vow to be by my side through the good and bad times, and someone whose words I can completely trust. Relatively simple and un-complex decision.

However to give another example, what if Will was someone I met while I was travelling overseas? What if the man who asked me to marry him was not from the same continent and for me to say yes, it would be at the cost of moving overseas away from all those I love and all that I have known? And what if, this place overseas might not recognise my qualifications and I would not have the same career certainty that I would have if I am back home? Saying yes would be much more difficult then. Much more courageous. As it is at the expense of losing a lot, a lot more.

Life and fate sometimes places us in difficult situations. I love my family. Sometimes I wish we can all be young again, where we are living, growing up, playing and joking in the same household and where difficult decisions do not have to be made. I sometimes secretly (and selfishly) wish that we can all grow old together, within close proximity of each other, even after we have found the other halves of our lives. I know that this is wishful thinking and probably far from reality.

Someone close to me would have to make a difficult decision. Whilst I know that there will not be a right or wrong decision, I hope that the decision will be one that makes her happy.