Why am I blogging again?

By pure coincidence I was halfway writing this post when a friend asked me the same question - why am I blogging again?

4 years ago, as a university student, I started a blog which I terminated right before I commenced full-time work. Apart from wanting to ensure I was able to dedicate full time and attention to the job as a fresh graduate, the other reason for stopping was that I was beginning to question the purpose of blogging. Was it all just an excuse for extensive gossiping and whinging and an outlet for expressing my discontent with certain things in life? Was the content getting too personal to be on a public forum? I didn’t want to be associated with my ex-Blog as a working adult. I thought I was too getting too mature for that. So I stopped.

Now 4 years later, (assuming my level of maturity has increased - although you should never assume), I am again reunited with blogging. What is it about blogging that keeps luring me back?

For months now, I have started to wonder what it will be like if I am to be gone tomorrow? If I am to vanish forever from the face of this earth?

What will the living remember of me? What is there left in this world that would serve as a memoir of me apart from a few pictures and a couple of belongings here and there? Would those who knew me remember the character that I was? What about those who never get to know me? They would never know that I had once existed!

That thought scares me. The thought that the extent of my living is so miniscule in the scale of things that no one will remember in 10 years time and it actually does not matter. I felt like I had to start writing again, to start documenting aspects of my life, expressing my thoughts - to start making a mark (no matter how small) that will serve as evidence of my existence. I am not famous or great enough to have an autobiography written about me; nor am I talented or dedicated enough to write a book or sing songs. I can keep a diary, but that I will not be able to share with anyone else (not being Anne Frank).

Blogging not only allows me to express myself, but it also allows me to share them with those who care, those who share the same thoughts, or those who are merely interested. (And if Blogspot does not decide to get rid of inactive blogs my posts can also stay on the world wide web for many, many years to come). And quite the contrary from the reason I stopped blogging 4 years ago, I find that blogging allows me to occupy my mind on something else outside of work and exert some creativity, which is quite therapeutic.

Only that it will be different this time. Whinging and gossiping will be kept to a minimum. I would like to think that I have indeed matured over the last 4 years. I hope I will create posts that will help share experiences and ideas or otherwise provides a means of light but amusing reading.